Your Son or Daughter Just Looked at Porn. Now What?

That’s what porn does. It destroys lives a little over a long time and then all at once.

So, your son or daughter recently looked at pornography and you found out. What do you do now? Well, your action plan could affect the course of his or her lifefor a long, long time. Its no small thing. Porn and porn addiction has ruined countless lives. What begins as a stolen glance, if unchecked, can swell into an avalanche of sin that crushes lives, families, churches and communities.

That’s what porn does. It destroys lives a little over a long time and then all at once.

This isn’t meant to scare you, but to remind you that the situation is serious. As a parent, you need to have an action plan to both prevent, discuss and confront the dangers of porn with your kids.

Here are seven things to consider if (or, more likely, when) that conversation happens.

1. Talk about it right then.

Dont just pass it off, ignore it, or worse, act like its a macho thing to do and inadvertently encourage it. Sit down, right then, and talk about it together. Dont overreact, dont go crazy, just have a conversation about how it happened and what he or she saw. Ask for the details.

2. Discuss the why.

Instead of reacting with outrage or disappointment dig a little deeper and ask the why questions. Why did they confess? Why didn’t they? Why did they view porn? You could find out it was accidental or you may dig up some deeper issues about whats really going on with your son or daughter. Then, discuss their motivation for viewing pornographyincluding the steps leading up to it and how they felt when they saw it and how they feel now.

3. Hit the Gospel.

Its important to bring up the Gospel and talk about it early in the conversation. How? Explain to them that their sins are covered in Christthat God looks at them and sees Jesus and his work on the cross and his resurrection. God still cares, listens and loves them deeply no matter what theyve done, but the right response to sin is always repentance. You can also talk about the fact that as sons and daughters of the King were called to turn from anything that might hurt our relationship with Jesus. This is real life stuff. Also, one caution, don’t Bible-shame.Youre disappointed, I get it, but this is not a time to throw out Bible verses to make your son or daughter feel worse. Point to the positive aspects of forgiveness, grace and the Holy Spirits power to move us in a God-ward direction.

4. Talk about safeguards.

Find the entry points in their lives where porn might creep in: smart phone, tablet, T.V., laptop, etc. Discuss a clear action plan to help safeguard their hearts and their eyes. You might consider downloading a filtering app like Mobicip or Covenant Eyes. These apps block (for the most part) porn-related content and they give you the ability to monitor the activity on their devices. Discuss appropriate times to use devices. If your son or daughter goes to bed with their phone or laptop that could be a dangerous thing. Talk about it and set some smart boundaries. One note: just because you add some software doesnt mean the issue is over. Which leads me to the next point.

5. Follow up.

One conversation and a filtering app isnt the end. Not even close. Make sure and talk about what your son or daughter seesboth online and offoften. Check into their history, discuss their online habits and create an open dialogue about the dangers of porn. Do what you can to create a safe environment for you kids do discuss, confess and ask questions. Dont shut it down after one conversationthat could do more damage than good by making them feel alone, ashamed and disconnected.

6. Dont make it weird.

OK, talking about porn with your son or daughter is weird in itself, right? But you dont have to make it any weirder than it already is. Talk about the specifics openly and confidently. The more clear, open and constructive you are the better.

7. Pray.

I mention this last, but its really something you should start doing as soon as the conversation begins. Pray on your own for guidance, pray together and pray consistently. Don’t underestimate the power of prayer to protect your kids from the dangers of porn. It’s our best weapon. Use it.

These tips deal with the immediate conversation, but there are also many things you can do to prepare and protect your kids from the dangers of porn before it strikes. Here are a few valuable resources.

By Brian Orme

Read more: http://www.faithit.com/your-son-or-daughter-just-looked-at-porn-now-what/